.:wanderlustmedia+dot+org:.

another pleasant valley sunday…

-which just happens to be easter. some bbc radio programme yesterday featured th teenybopper/bubble gum pop music industry- & th business model even pseudo anarcho-capitalist malcolm mclaren referred to was (hey, hey!) th monkees. so there you have it…

finally went to see american beauty, & th missing theme song might seem to be th above title. did michael nesmith write that one? it’s already after midnight. i’m fed up w/ living in my head. feels like i’ll be in th grave before i ever get to live out something that fells halfway like my own life…

i reach out & my arms embrace empty air. i’m falling, th clock is ticking, i went from endless peter pan adolescence to middle age crisis in on fell swoop. guess it’s time to buy mself a harley & see if i can pick up some cute highschool girl aching to blow this popsicle stand & see th big wide bloody third world by my side…haha…

is there anybody out there?

what is love? d=(8{>

hebdo.wiederzurueck…

-meaning, ‘weekly return again’ -or ‘-back again’…

ahhh…travel energy kept me going close to two weeks, missd meditation @ centrozen this morning to feel th drop into family frustration&claustrophobia…;

what can i say? -when black friday comes/i’ll collect everything i’m owed/& catch th big men as they dive from th fourteenth floor…fagen & becker are wieder zurueck, touring as steely dan just in time for their lyrics to be timely…th funds raquel @ smithbarney just bought, oh so painfully close to market peak, are down 25% or so…

tony has raised his rental rates on apple machines to like $300- 350 a WEEK…welll- fugdadsheeet! i live up that creek- where’s my paddle?? what a life…

treading water…difficult to get back into da riddim…nearly five, domingo de ramos (palm sunday) en viejo san juan…gotta go shop for some staples…agua jugo d pi~a yogurt eggs…

hasta la vista…bighugs to all…

d=(8{>

hebdo.wiederzurueck…

-meaning, ‘weekly return again’ -or ‘-back again’…

ahhh…travel energy kept me going close to two weeks, missd meditation @ centrozen this morning to feel th drop into family frustration&claustrophobia…

what can i say? -when black friday comes/i’ll collect everything i’m owed/& catch th big men as they dive from th fourteenth floor…fagen & becker are wieder zurueck, touring as steely dan just in time for their lyrics to be timely…th funds raquel @ smithbarney just bought, oh so painfully close to market peak, are down 25% or so…

tony has raised his rental rates on apple machines to like $300- 350 a WEEK…welll- fugdadsheeet! i live up that creek- where’s my paddle?? what a life…

treading water…difficult to get back into da riddim…nearly five, domingo de ramos (palm sunday) en viejo san juan…gotta go shop for some staples…agua jugo d pi~a yogurt eggs…

hasta la vista…bighugs to all…

d=(8{>

-meaning, ‘weekly return again’ -or ‘-back again’…
ahhh…travel energy kept me going close to two weeks, missd meditation @
centrozen this morning to feel th drop into family
frustration&claustrophobia…;
what can i say?
-when black friday comes/i’ll collect everything i’m owed/& catch th big men
as they dive from th fourteenth floor…fagen & becker are wieder zurueck,
touring as steely dan just in time for their lyrics to be timely…th funds
raquel @ smithbarney just bought, oh so painfully close to market peak, are
down 25% or so…
tony has raised his rental rates on apple machines to like $300- 350 a
WEEK…welll- fugdadsheeet! i live up that creek- where’s my paddle??
what a life…
treading water…difficult to get back into da riddim…nearly five, domingo
de ramos (palm sunday) en viejo san juan…gotta go shop for some
staples…agua jugo d pi~a yogurt eggs…
hasta la vista…bighugs to all…
d=(8{>

-meaning, ‘weekly return again’ -or ‘-back again’…
ahhh…travel energy kept me going close to two weeks, missd meditation @
centrozen this morning to feel th drop into family
frustration&claustrophobia…
what can i say?
-when black friday comes/i’ll collect everything i’m owed/& catch th big men
as they dive from th fourteenth floor…fagen & becker are wieder zurueck,
touring as steely dan just in time for their lyrics to be timely…th funds
raquel @ smithbarney just bought, oh so painfully close to market peak, are
down 25% or so…
tony has raised his rental rates on apple machines to like $300- 350 a
WEEK…welll- fugdadsheeet! i live up that creek- where’s my paddle??
what a life…
treading water…difficult to get back into da riddim…nearly five, domingo
de ramos (palm sunday) en viejo san juan…gotta go shop for some
staples…agua jugo d pi~a yogurt eggs…
hasta la vista…bighugs to all…
d=(8{>

…queriendo decir, hemos sido paridos por la boca?
le debo a mi amigo toni unas palabras por su primera novela despues d 15
a~os, y pienso q vale la pena compartir lo q llevo rumiando…esteee…desde
noviembre.
el libro, firmado a.g.porta, se titula ‘braudel por braudel’ y confieso q me
pase las primeras quince o veinte páginas luchando con el texto- cuestionando
la gramaticalidad de algunas frases, editando mentalmente ciertos giros,
debatiendo ciertas peculiaridades de una tercera persona q por momentos
parece una especie de desdoblamiento dl protagonista…
pero precisamente este efecto es el q se va haciendo más seductor y positivo-
no sé por qué, hasta absorbente para este lector…
el libro va acumulando una serie de…pistas, cuasi-revelaciones q parecen
se~alar situaciones arquetípicas q bordean con el cliché- pero de manera tan
ambigua, llana y asumida a una y la misma vez q quiero creer q toni ha
encontrado un juego escalofriante de metaforizar en situación límite las
convencionales evasiones personales q se nos hacen intolerables en los
momentos de agobiante lucidez q parecen acompa~ar- si no definir- la crisis d
la mediana edad…
comprendo q he dicho muy poco, pero valga el parrafito para lograr seducir a
este diverso grupo de amigos, conocidos & compa~eros de viaje como para q
soliciten, busquen, encuentren y devoren esta peque~a, incomodante joya
narrativa…ah, toni, perdona, por alguna rara defensa contra su poco
convencional naturaleza, he olvidado el nombre d la editorial…cuando
regrese a puerto rico la semana q viene- y relea el libro, como me lo tengo
prometido desde la despedida dl…milenio- podré remitir las se~as
pertinentes…
un abrazo a todos,
davidj=(8{>

…& found again. a state of grace recovered in small, loving gestures-
puerto viejo tappd into childhood memory smells- farm, jungle & beach all
rolld into one: dense seagrape & beach almendro leafrot composting into humus
over sand, wetlands drainage ditches snaking along & across th little resort
property bungalows; tall, skinny wild guava trees dropping their fruit by th
unpaved roadside…
i managed to pull about six hours of intense virtual office reorganizing
yesterday before burning out. gracias mil a carlos & hayvis for their
hospitality & their spanking-new, superfast gateway computer.
‘la comida dl pobre viene toda junta’: to wit, all of a sudden, i have a lot
on my plate & i’m again faced w/ making choices, deciding priorities,
trusting my (seemingly, feelingly) tentative & compromisd instincts: i’ve
been given a chance to possibly blossom as a business networker & seek
investors w/ fairly deep pockets in puerto rico for diverse projects in costa
rica, mostly related to th developing ecotourism sector on th caribe sur
coast around puerto viejo. th emotional fly in th ointment is th news that th
digital filmmaking workshop director bigas luna is setting up in barcelona
begins on april 28!!
i’m taking deep breaths, detaching from my inner mom voice reminding me how i
missd a good chance to take a new york film academy low-budget production
course in paris in part @ least because of my ill-timed stint as a volunteer
editing assistant for ak press in san francisco, in th spring of ‘98. this is
a great chance to ‘do th footwork & detach from expected results’: a digital
camera & laptop are required for participation & shopping for them is one of
th main tasks of my stay in miami. i cannot change th past, i cannot bend th
future: i can only take care of- & responsibility for- th present…
and th oscar goes to…
love, love above all…d=(8{>

it’ll be a week tomorrow since i arrivd in puerto viejo d talamanca. big
italian colony. costa d papito was full for th night i arrived, then it was
spotty for th week, so i ended up staying @ their neighbors’- sandra & leo
from brescia, not far from milano…
just found out bill mclarney’s in town! maybe i’ll get to meet th guy before
i head back to san jose next sunday, guatemala next wednesday, miami th
following sunday…
guatemala was a bit of a bust, @ least partly because of my thin skin for
soical inequalities & aggressive hustling.(i was even propositioned by a
middle-aging mayan guy in antigua…)
isabel was hitting critical mass after th terrible theft of new computers &
most of her business’office equipment, but she certainly didn’t need me to
hold her hand, she just needed to deal w/ th fallout- personal &
professional- which made me wish i’d headed down this way directly, but it
was a learning experience as focused & gentle as they come, so why complain?
happy happy happy to just be able to communicate, what w/ flooded landlines,
overloaded servers knocking off, telephone service spotty @ best…i want to
cook dinner & propose buisness owners get together & see if they can
negotiate
some deal for a total wireless package, see if www.wanderlustmedia.com can
sponsor maybe half of th setup/startup costs, if they don’t come to more than
$5-6k…satellite dish? couple of state of th art dells? anybody out there
wanna help me do th numbers & join th sponsorship? gonna start talkin’it
up…who knows, i may be returning here regularly, th place vibrrrates in my
childhood memories so deeply…(flowing love, à suivre…)
d.zettj=(8{>

…meaning, ‘wholly gone over’ or ‘gone to th other side’:
th mantra @ th end of th ‘heart of perfect wisdom’, known as th ‘heart sutra’
for short- th most perfect, radical, concentrated, direct, confrontational,
purifying, world-healing, & why not say it, enlightening spiritual text in
any culture- in my humble, frayed, coverless, hand-printed book, @ least…
saludos desde antigua, guatemala. i just had to let it go.
you set yr boundries for safe distance yr way, i’m still learning to set
mine. i may not follow it to th distorted, self-critical letter of perfection
i have learned to hold myself hostage to, but i have a program, i keep
remembering & being reminded of in th best, genstlest, sweetest, toughloving
ways my inner adolescent steppenwolf cd ever wish for.
mucho amore, d.settj=(8{>

…i’ve lost track. how long has it been?
really stumbling rolling dragging & @ best bouncing around this emotional
bottom…
i read my cares…not-quite-away? …pushd thru ‘poland’ by michener, hop
skip & jumped around lawrence durrell’s first (i believe) novel-
‘th dark labyrinth’,.. keep returning to th same chapters in douglas
coupland’s ‘generation x’, lately, mostly working on finishing hesse’s
’steppenwolf’, my first rereading since i was sixteen or so- i think…
also started vaneigem’s situationist rant- ‘a cavalier history of
surrealism’…& my cousin marilse reminded me i had ‘barcelona’ by robert
hughes lying around, so i started browsing thru it again- th chapter on
gaudi, among others…need more? when i’m feeling reeeeally depressed i pick
up henry miller’s ‘big sur & th oranges of hieronymous bosch’…
i can’t stand it. over a month & a half after th beach house got broken into,
dr.dad & my brothers haven’t gotten it together to look for th valcor window
papers in case they need to call th company’s ‘lifetime warranty’ bluff- so i
feel like i’m playing watchdog as i drench myself in ‘off’ insect repellent
before crawling into bed- but th bug juice wears out in a few hours &
mosquito buzzes & bites wake me between two & three in th morning whenever
th prevailing high pressure fails & th breeze dies down- often enough, these
nights…
it’s a busy tuesday @ th stroke of midnight- it’s th night there’s three
cruise ships in town & soapy’s internet station stays open til two in th
morning when passengers & crew gather back onboard & th big liners prepare to
lift anchor…
san valentin was bad & lonely. inspired me to think up an alias:
val steppenwolf…or valen wolf? i mean, my ummm- ‘nombre de pila’? -given
name? christian name? feels like a sad sick joke in my current self-pitying
mood-
david jose: th cherisehd or beloved (according to ‘god’s heart’) -who labors
w/ his hands- daoud youssef…& i’ve ended up being such a solitary, unloved,
amateur capitalist…oh well. isn’t it ironic…
so, i’m looking @ travelling th month of march: costa rica, guatemala & a
visit to carlos oscar in miami for my birthday towards th end of march…
tony’s mac hasn’t even had an apple machine for me to rent all this time, so
i haven’t had a chance to work on forwarding my earlier writings out of their
compuserve format zipdisk backup to either david sower or maybe to th new
online storage business i saw advertised somewhere…
(to be continued- a suivre- continuara…)
abrazzous, dabizzet.j=(8{>