Archive for August, 1999
hebdo:unterWegs-drift-wandering-nomadism-pigrimage?
lost my shape/feel like an accident
* david byrne
billy pigrim has come unstuck in time
* kurt vonnegut what a drag it is/getting old jagger/richards
no man is a nomad who fails to follow th season of his flock. i lose my thread,
my narrative drive, my focus- ‘emptiness is nothing but form, form none other
than emptiness’:
what is spiritual, what is not? to borrow from th ‘prajna paramita’:
it has no legs, no tits, no ass, no dance, no kiss, no home, no force…
no company, no solitude, no skin, no flow-
no root, no flight, no net, no fall, no reach, no peace…
there seems to be no place for me in this world but six feet under
i drift my best as a restless guest, as i wander lost in lust…
no path, no exit out of myself but six feet under- it’s a chore
& an overwhelming effort just to stop wishing & wishing my life away!
what’ll i do/what’ll i do?
i seem to be running out of time w/out ever
having gotten th hang of sex w/ somebody else-
guess i’m solo for th duration: always on th road alone again naturally…
all you need is- d=(8{>
hebdo.unterWegs:kult-yr-kuchen?
did you call for me, my darling?
i mourn my loves one town, one roof @ a time
th children’s circus offers its high-wire homework
one last night before th big top folds its tent
i seem to find my place only as i launch into headlong flight
weak knees screaming long after a cobblestone takeoff, my path
bobs & weaves among th shapeshifters of twilight
(th silky mane of an aloof beauty turnd away faces me as th dense beard of an intense, smoking charlie manson
double- while i pass a fearless hedgehog momentarily become a crouching cat…)
weimar is royally drunk on that sparkling culture money-
leaving not th slightest laundered trace
after th last worn-out avant-garde gesture dies down in th alleys
w/ out clearly markd boundaries, it’s a party for th well-off & th young-
each in their tacitly appointed quarters
from th distance of some early history
th heart of a leaning continent pumps passion into our limbs
to sing my skin awake- an ugly, catatonic prometheus, good looks
draind by th shadows of dreamless entropy
still i thank th size of life, smearing its coursing flow far beyond my petty desires & their obscure,
haphazard satisfactions…
hebdo:wanderWegs-homing in…
a flying leap to th present & a very, very slick internet cafe @ weimar
train station, maybe th only public(?)internet access in all of
thüringen? …mini towers under th table(!) -flat screen monitors from
siemens (one of their sponsoring partners, along w/ bitburger brauerei,
consors discount broker, ecrc, msn & pioneer electronics…) -another
flat wide screen for video over th bar…espressos @ 3 marks-
not*that*bad- but quarter liters(half pints?) of sparkling mineral
water are th same price…
peter suggested i try some shop or business in town for an alternative
possible access, but it seems like a long shot to me…a likelier
option, to my mind, wd be if k-heiner can be my passport to access thru
th university…we will see…
ah, well, this cool slick place runs on windows nt, & th five terminals
for client access are linkd to their cash register & even (if i
understood right) their tv-video terminal, seemingly hardwired to
mtv-deutschland (th eagles just performd their taped reunion version of
‘hotel kalifornia’…) when i first came by last wednesday, trying to
meet my self-imposed mid-week (mittwoch) newsletter deadline, their
network crashd while i waited for an available terminal…if i got th
story right, the thing runs from a local server right here in th
manager’s office, but he was nowhere to be found & an hour & a half
later, when i gave up & started on my hike to buchenwald, they still
hadn’t managed to raise (microsoft deutschland?)tech help on th
phone…
so this is friday afternoon, th beginning of th big goethe birthday
party, it’s 3 marks every 15 minutes for access- 12dm/hour, nearly five
o’clock, peeing in my pants, spent too much time as usual doing office
work, but it may have bn work it- got a moderately organised address
book @ yahoo & i can save working drafts here, so…yahoo looks better
& better…if i can shake off th sheets early enough tomorrow morning,
i can try to begin filling in my narrative gaps, müunchen to
johanniskirchen to weimar…
luv, luv, luv=(8{>
hebdo.wanderWegs:goin’south
> ohhhh boy. it’s been a week- & then some. realized last night i’d been
> behaving as if i were joined to alex @ th hip. where do i begin?
> finally hiked/ walkd into pfarrkirchen today- a roundabout way by
> breitenbach & furcht (?) that made it about 15 or so kilometers- maybe 16,
> so just about ten miles…it’s alex’s turn to be under th weather- just as
> th weather clears & he gets ready to go back to hamburg w/ his new
> girlfriend vanessa, who came down for a visit last thursday. we’ll board
th
> inter-city together tomorrow, i change trains for weimar @ fulda…
> maybe i shd do something like a chronology…
> so i took th train from amsterdam to munich on tuesday. met christopher,
> alex’s hometown bud & th ultimate party machine, running on coffee, beer,
> cigarettes & a new infatuation every other day. in
> th week & a half since i met him, i’ve only seen him eat once: last night,
> when we got some pizzas to go from ‘il cavallino’, a kitschy-elegant
> trattoria that seems to be th only restaurant among
> th downtown pfarrkirchen strip of pastry shop-cafes…
> i’d had half a bottle of macon for w/ a late lunch salad & cheese plate on
> th amsterdam train, & a tomato soup & some tortellini w/ th same canned
> tomato soup for a sauce late in th evening, close to arriving in munich.
> anyway, i caught th christopher bug- had a big hefe-weizen & a shot of
> tequila @ a student-run bar known as ‘manhattan’, on top of th tallest
dorm
> in th student residence compound, & got kind of chilld on th windy terrace
> looking over th town talking to amy from detroit…it was nearly four in
th
> morning by th time we arranged our sleeping places & i woke up on eclipse
> wednesday, august 11, w/ a bad sore throat…nursed it w/ an
echt-bayerische
> breakfast of weisswurst, pretzel & sweet mustard, then alternatively
> ‘oohhh’d’ & ‘awwww’d’ along w/ th gathered crowd as clouds played w/ th
> visibility of th event as totality approached…
>
> (a suivre…) luv, d=(8{>
hebdo.wanderlustig
> > is there such a thing as a quiet, smoke-free internet cafe in asterdam?
> > seems highly unlikely from th accumulating evidence…i wd hazard to
guess
>
> > it’s bn a process of diversification for th smoke cafes- from pinball
> > machines & pool tables to higher-end client base profit expansion
> > seeking…& blah blah woof woof to you, to quote th late great
> mr.hendrix…
> > boy, for a small country th dutch sure seem to do things in a big way.
> there
> > was a big gay pride boat parade yesterday worthy of a dutch version of
> > ’south park’- big official floats w/ everybody & their maiden aunt’s
> little
> > motor lauch getting in on th act…got a bit of nice footage out of it
> even
> > if i did get a little wet out in th dutch drizzle…
> > spent th rest of th afternoon making up for missd lunch w/ a burgundian
> > dinner- ardennes pate followed by roast lamb in mint & honey sauce-
washed
>
> > down w/ glasses of belgian lambic- that’s liquid sourdough to th
> > uninitiated- beer fermented spontaneously on th grain’s naturally
ocurring
>
> > -umm are they still yeasts? i wd guess so…
> > meanwhile as i sit here struggling w/ my pseudo-journalistic vocation,
> > online travel journals seem to be proliferating all around me. a cursory
> > peek @ neighboring & surrounding monitors show hotmail & yahoo to be th
> > services of choice…
August 5 1999
reiten reiten reiten
und der mut is so müde gworden und die sehnsucht so gross…
-r.m.rilke
another mittwoch & no answers, one week layover(ha) in nyc to shop for
scrambling sandals, better hiking shoes/ sturdier trail running shoes, some
light raingear…all i’ve bought is socks & sockliners & a pair of support
orthotic pads, that’s about it. not th most confident, comfortable consumer
& customer, tho i am slowly becoming an educated one (‘@ sym’s, an educated
consumer is our best customer’)
so many little hurdles to configuring my virtual writing desk & electronic
post office- hotmail lets me save a draft to continue work- i’m still not
sure yahoo offers that possibility, excite definitely does not. but hotmail
has no easy way to copy addresses off a posting & into their address
‘book’-
has no way @ all except 100% manual off-my-scrap-of-paper data entry…so
i’ll save this draft here (hotmail) & forward it to mself (both excite &
yahoo) to see about editing a bit ummm- tomorrow morning @ ceybercafé in
soho when i go check my compuserve account…try to attach th old kfeen
13/hebdo.amStrand friends & audience(!?) adresses & finally renew my
writing
discipline…
i was hoping to time my visit here @ cyberfeld’s w/ a bite or a coffee @
‘borgo antico’ next door- michele maritato, co-owner & chef, had a great &
inspirational story about hiking down & back up th grand canyon (besides
zion national in utah) & th food is as good as th conversation- th night i
had dinner there, i made up for not having bn eating my greens lately: a
cold spinach & fennel soup, sauteéd dandelion greens & artichokes & grilld
calamari on arugula & white beans! hope i’ve got my ny friends excited
enough to go for a visit & say hi for me! all th best to all, especially my
fellow pilgrims & wanderers this extreme weather summer of ‘99…
lovey dovey lovey dovey all’a time…d=(8{>