.:wanderlustmedia+dot+org:.

i fall awake until daybreak
again in my childhood bed

struggle to breathe
the dust i am made of
scraped off the skin

unless cats pass out & recover from oblivious unconsciousness like humans do, the black street tom is dead. i’m

not 100% certain yet, because i stopped short of prodding the prone,
still body… i was at the end of a good if draining, sweltering 50-minute run when i found him, & i jogged in

place at close proximity & gave a couple of shouts…
this is the third feline companion i’ve lost in a year: putxo disappeared as holiday season approached in 2001-

just about a year ago, actually; txori ran away as i tried to carry her
from my car on the last few steps to what was to be her first visit to the vet- last may if i remember right…
this nameless prowler- i would address him sometimes as ‘negro’, sometimes ‘feo’ or ‘flaco’- had originally

started coming by to court txori & steal her food. sometime after txori’s flight, el ‘flaco’ turned up again,

begging in a penetrating, high-pitched fake-kitten whine.
having a fair deal of catfood left & figuring a cat’s presence would at least keep the threat of mouse & rat

infestation- always a concern- at bay, i fed the guy…
he was something of a nasty piece of work- sometimes giving my hand a few gouges even as i’d finish laying food

out for him…schizoid street dude…
cut to the chase: seems somebody buried him under a mound of sandy soil right where he fell, & my neighbor

confirmed he had stumbled on the lifeless body, so that’s that…
strange thing, dr.dad’s own long-haired black tom- ‘lucho’- got into a serious scrape right about that time. he

only survived after massive doses of antibiotics: an infection got into his ear canal & his balance seems to

have been permanently impared & his head now lists to
one side- his handsome looks damaged, his self-possession & proud bearing gone…
a little sad…jeanette th cat healer- dr.dad’s friend- has ended up taking him under her
wing (??) -of course, it was thru her auspices that lucho first came to keep dr.dad
company right about th same time that ulda & javier brought putxo to the beach house…
& so/this is christmas…war is over/if you want it, to quote th late lennon…
…to all a good night- the very best in th new year & huggyhugs-
dabizzet.je=(8{>

‘words on a page or motion in space-
alles labor: degrees of effort, focus & purpose
to feed a contingent self, an isolated body’

th scaffold frame of a body
endlessly refills empty self
draining timeworn bloat

desire broken, whittled down
to solitary sober sexless lust

saving my burdens for you-
to freely surrender
my load of mud in yr eye

desde la orilla del mar en retirada
hasta un horizonte que traiciona
la conspirada y ascendente fuga
al borde inferior de oculto cielo
que miente su infinito azul
tras abultados reglamentos grises
-y encima de su esclava lluvia
(testigo cada cual de sus matices)

si rompen olas cada escudo de silencio
cómo brinda la evasión rimada?
si reducido a menos de un sólo lugar
cuanto enriquecido dispersar pretendo
ni el punto ciego asienta perspectivas
y encallado queda en mudas traducciones

(‘muga’ significa frontera o límite en euskera-vasco)

my thoughts are sluggish
tho my heart is beating fast

my tongue gets twisted
when i talk about th past

you speak of love
my whole body’s in a cast

my head is heavy
i may get some sleep at last

la luna se puso sobre mi desvelo al filo boto de la medianoche
(the moon set over my sleepless wake at the dull edge of midnight)
…nothing more- nada mas- quoth th raven-

mareo inesperado de alcohol dulce, azucar destilada
la infancia es mi unica supervivencia en este mundo
con su tierra segura de pequenyos miedos y rencores agigantados

marcas…memorias…huellas…herencias…atavismos…gestos
circuitos…rituales…reflejos…cadenas…legados…sacrificios

encalladas en silencio, noticias en clave
sobre la noche bajo el ocaso
desde la media luz
hasta la media luna
en busca del escondite para escupir
el coraje albergado en el buche