Archive for June, 2003
June 30th 2003
lunes 30-corner to corner- moneda a moneda- coin to coin- d’un coin a l’autre-
city of six-lane blindered highway parallel lives… late night/early morn…blahh…
June 23rd 2003
lunes 23…
hmmm…made it into th ocean two-three minutes late…a little tired…
three-thirty…nighty-night…
June 22nd 2003
domingo 22…
nuts. is there a source to this useless brilliance, every other light, any shining gleam that reaches our eyes? is this th feastday of chango, like zeus in th divine gerund, dios, patron
of light in motion and th thunder that underlines & drives its power home? why then
th ocean cleansing? why midnight? why backwards? solstice? midsummer? dialectical materialism as opposed to what? let’s run.
…wrong. again. here still, not still, rehearsing conversations i may never have a chance of performing, talking to myself, or to god, as you please.
June 20th 2003
viernes 20/sabado 21
strange…did run on monday after all…gotta zzzzz…bis morgen…?
June 16th 2003
lunes 16.
bloomsday up’n'downs. bit of a coffee excess but quite orageuse so that i doubt i will run…
gotta use th mornings here, afternoons seem to be predictably wet…dublin a year from now? march visit to case it out, meet th joyce society? should finish th ulysses, really!!
June 13 2003
viernes 13!
cerdanya again. no sleep on thursday- well, maybe a couple hours. nodding out on th train across dead-serious cute chubby catalana goth nursing her new ankle tattoo…got off en ripoll. candida drowsiness & drying ringworm on my forearm? thought i’d radically cut down on coffee, but craving’s up…run at six?
buy some more cheese & th ‘roc de majorque’? oh, not elegible for interrail: six month official residence in EUnion to qualify. a flexipass limited to spain, maybe. eight or nine trips during a two-month span? madrid? valencia? pamplona? start on deciphering my handwritten fragments of th last couple months…
June 10th 2003
martes 10, 0448h-
blahhh…moving again- to another room if one turns out to be available? to a month on an interrail ticket? tentatively stopping back for for a few days around la vispera de san juan? madrid? pamplona? huesca? valencia? cerdanya again? dublin???
June 6th 2003
viernes 6, 1240h:
too much sugar in th pineapple juice, too much butter in th croissants, too much coffee
first thing in my morning…change th program! remember how you shifted gears in germany in ‘94 turning coffee down & having mint tea in th morn…? well- do it again!!
se fundio la unica bombilla que tenia enroscada…
hmmm- is my throat thing allergic? i wake up ok- except for th puffy eyes, even this morn after only having two zuritos of wine- & then after th usual hotel flour-sugar-butter-caffeine breakfast, my chest tightens up. su caso, senyor fiscal…give up on bkfast? for at least a couple of days? just poleo menta & one croissant?? arrrrrrghh…
(1134h…) en la posada del fracaso…
three morning pages, back in ‘96 throughout serious emotional weather…
cocooning on th hoof?? -on wings wings wings to soar above, ascend?
(from a distance…everything’s hunky dory- down here on th ground, it’s a bitch…)
-so how can you tell me/y’re lonely? let me take you by th hand/& show you ’round
th streets of london…self-pity as creative fuel grows increasingly inefficient for this aging engine…need to tap some higher octane, cleaner burning non-fossil renewable resource! higher power? out of th way, shell-self! trust trust trust & engage-disengage-reengage?
take two, take three, take five. six steps beyond seventh heaven?
June 5th 2003
jueves 5! 1032h: fuga de instrumentos y amados amigos muertos que resucitan
-invisibles? en mis suenyos… andy de nuevo, maria me dice que se ve viejito, ha presentado un espectaculo de danza- i just missed it, just got back to PR??
hazme legible, inteligible, transparente resistente labrado tallado en materiales tibios terrenos indefinidos sino por amor…como compartir…?
(1301h…) i guess i’ll spend my life/just catching colds & missing trains…
i miss pussy, miss pussy…en agradecidamente larga espera de la muerte me dedico a intensificar hasta lo insostenible una especie de saudade, morrinha o anyoranza sexual…
el gigantismo solipsista de la insatisfaccion? gigantismo insatisfecho del solipsismo?? solipsismo gigante? solipsismo insatisfecho llevado al gigantismo!
que vida esta, esta y ninguna otra…
June 2nd 2003
lunes 2…2056h…
que le vamos a hacer si mi vida es un rosario de veranos natimuertos…
cada cuenta es una lagrima de azabache-
un comprimido de ceniza y rosas mustias
de la llama que nunca se avivo de pasion…
soy el ceniciento…amargado resentido…en larga espera
de una princesa roja que nunca me ha reconocido…