.:wanderlustmedia+dot+org:.

ayayay…
stephen dedalus says in th ulysses,
‘history is a nightmare from which i’m trying to awake’
well, @ this point in what is arguably th end of human history as western
civilization has conceptualised it since th renaissance & th ‘enlightenment’,
technology is th inescapable, recurrent nightmare i find myself bogged in.
after a second trip to th repair shop, an acrimonious telephone conversation
w/ a reticent tech, & over a month of waiting around, th best sony can do is
tacitly admit there is a problem in sending power, data & audio signals thru
th one cable & pc card connection by enclosing an audio cable to make a
separate connection between th ‘line out’ & ‘line in’ terminals…d-uh.
meanwhile, th problem i only noticed for th second trip out- th screen that
dims thirty seconds from booting when i run th laptop on battery power-
continues unabated. who do i go to? better business bureau? lawyers? i’m
exhausted, @ th end of my emotional & financial ropes.
it’s a choice between letting mike tyler, poet in residence @ th carlton
arms, ‘lease’ th machine from me if he cares to struggle w/ sony, inc. in new
york, or bringing it w/ me & take my chances on puerto rico sony service
shops & th extended international warranty i paid a couple of hundred extra
dollars for…
it’s gonna be a workout, exercising my thankfulness this thanksgiving. john @
th hotel threw out some nice french cheeses i bought for a dinner party i was
supposed to help organise & cook for yesterday…he did peevishly dismiss my
chagrin by assuring me he wd pay for them. let’s see if it’s not a major
operation, having him keep his word…
i miss november in weimar, & th soft, dusty-flaked snow coming down lightly
but steadily every night as i walked back from th railway station when th
internet cafe closed @ midnight…
i miss november in barcelona, & th blustery drizzle of mediterranean autumn
blowing down th narrow streets of el barrio gotico…
‘love, love/i have hung our cave w/ roses’
d=(8{>

(along w/ my continuing infatuation w/ sylvia plath, i have fallen in love
w/ th intense & personal photographic work of francesca woodman, who jumped
out of her apartment in th east village in 1981, @ th age of 22-)

Subject: i must be a rhino

‘wallowing is an important part of a rhino’s daily routine’ (see below)

i do seem to have developed my capacity for sweating, but it’s extemely uncomfortable. when i sweat, it’s in copious, dehydrating amounts & if i let it dry on my skin i develop little fungus rings all over my skin -ewwwwwww…

i owe some of y’all some personal replies, i know. been going a little nuts here (tell us something new, d!)

i was flying to barcelona on th 25th of october, then on hallowe’en, then on th 10th of november. now i have a reservation to fly into amsterdam on sunday th 18th, returning on th day after april fools’. iberia. stopover in santo domingo. four-hour layover in madrid. pooling all kind of frequent flyer miles & bonus points for a biz-class ticket. maybe i’ll fly into frankfurt on christmas eve. stay tuned. love, d=(8{>

Do you know?…

Black Rhinos

Why do rhinos wallow in the mud?

You’re right!

The correct answer is to keep cool. Because rhinos can’t sweat, they need to wallow in mud as a means of keeping cool. Mud is an excellent way of accelerating heat loss, taking over an hour to dry, and absorbing heat from the body in the process. And mud has therapeutic properties that maintain the skin supple and healthy. A thick coating of mud also protects rhinos from bloodsucking flies, and ticks and lice tend to fall off with the mud when it dries. Wallowing is an important part of the rhino’s daily routine!

Learn more about African and Asian rhinos in the WWF rhino pages.

Learn how to avoid buying illegal wildlife souvineers, including ones made from rhino horn in our Buyer Beware section.

Discover Africa, the last wild continent and home to rhinos, elephants and other splendid wildlife on the WWF Tanzania and Kenya Classic Wildlife Safari

Subject: amStrand:automnyale

another silent fortnight…is it a blue moon or isn’t it?
guess it depends on what longitude y’re straddling-
hallowe’en hunter’s moon, full at midnight!
i wanted to be in barcelona by now…boo hoohoo…
but avant aucune autre chose- all praise to whom all praise is due!
or, as certain rockstars are wont to phrase it, ‘i’d like to thank my higher power’-
i’ve run five days in th week since last wednesday: it began w/ my first two back-to-back days since i can’t remember when, light 25 minute tests, then sunday & monday i did a solid 35 minutes each time & 32 minutes today after a full day driving into san juan for errands at th state department & th film office of th puerto rico development corporation to start paperwork on incorporating wanderlustmedia…
my footwork to help heal my lingering infection has featured weekly on/off cycles of golden seal & echinacea- one gram each throughout th day, plus some topically applied golden seal at bedtime…& a fair amount of wild, restless zazen-sobbing & talking to myself out loud at times…
many rivers to cross…ride th train/through th misty night time…
i have a reservation to travel november 10, but my current inclination is to wait until carlos oscar arrives from florida,
& fly to amsterdam instead on th 18th or 19th to help cook thanksgiving dinner at scott & rachel’s, then find my way south visiting friends & relatives during th holiday season…

october ends in mute restlessness
i wander this world like a ghost on reprieve
experiencing something like a body
supporting th substantive illusion of self

crowding east against custom
clouds blow across th sunset
house reeks of catshit

between neck & shoulder hang my twin traps:
to th left, intuition frustrated by mistrust
to th right, logic tangled in critical doubt

when i push to move ahead, shake free, break away
one or another goes into spasm & paralyzes
th flow of dream desire into action…

love, love, my season (sylvia plath) d=(8{>

another silent fortnight…is it a blue moon or isn’t it?
guess it depends on what longitude y’re straddling-
hallowe’en hunter’s moon, full at midnight!
i wanted to be in barcelona by now…boo hoohoo…
but avant aucune autre chose- all praise to whom all praise is due!
or, as certain rockstars are wont to phrase it, ‘i’d like to thank my higher power’-
i’ve run five days in th week since last wednesday: it began w/ my first two back-to-back days since i can’t

remember when, light 25 minute tests, then sunday & monday i did a solid 35 minutes each time & 32 minutes

today after a full day driving into san juan for errands at th state department & th film office of th puerto

rico development corporation to start paperwork on incorporating wanderlustmedia…
my footwork to help heal my lingering infection has featured weekly on/off cycles of golden seal & echinacea-

one gram each throughout th day, plus some topically applied golden seal at bedtime…& a fair amount of wild,

restless zazen-sobbing & talking to myself out loud at times…
many rivers to cross…ride th train/through th misty night time…
i have a reservation to travel november 10, but my current inclination is to wait until carlos oscar arrives

from florida,
& fly to amsterdam instead on th 18th or 19th to help cook thanksgiving dinner at scott & rachel’s, then find

my way south visiting friends & relatives during th holiday season…

october ends in mute restlessness
i wander this world like a ghost on reprieve
experiencing something like a body
supporting th substantive illusion of self

crowding east against custom
clouds blow across th sunset
house reeks of catshit

between neck & shoulder hang my twin traps:
to th left, intuition frustrated by mistrust
to th right, logic tangled in critical doubt

when i push to move ahead, shake free, break away
one or another goes into spasm & paralyzes
th flow of dream desire into action…

love, love, my season (sylvia plath) d=(8{>

www.wanderlustmedia.com: a virtual ground for homeless desire
(‘reposo virtual para el deseo disperso’ ?- gotta work on translations for that motto!
die virtual grund fuer die heimatlos verlangen??)

(october 4, 1655h)
like a teenaging moon-june rhyme
love is achingly easy-
easy as doubt, easy as dread & disquiet:
a blinkered heart stuck in a one-stroke rush hour love is th fearful wallflower’s claim to heroism-
enduring in itself, by itself, for itself-
unheard, untouched, unrecognised & unreturned (october 6, 1236h)
a lifetime’s tumbling void beneath my tightrope walk
an ocean of tears roils in blood-red rust-
closed & closer, spite hums mouthy spells
to blind my heart’s deluded fall…
all or nothing is th course love taught
& in grating fruitless anger i bend to its rules
(2124h)
nobody home
nothing but a shell th wind whistles thru-
air rushes in to correct an imbalance: melt th icicles, cool th burn-
or, swelling in moisture’s conflicted embrace, rages
to soak th desert or lift a swamp to th river
(2206h)
days go by, years tick away minute by doubting minute
resentment keeps me bouncing th dead cat bounce
off th same listless bottom again & again many have made their half-honest fortune
wailing out my useless secret feelings loud for me-
why should i embarrass us further
sketching slapdash cathedrals of unshared yearning?
there is nothing left to break inside, & yet
a chandelier of tender childhood shame
shines brightly on lovey-dove, d=(8{>

Subject: menses.amStrand?

…certainly not managing a weekly posting. 9-11 shocked me & threw me for a loop.
perverse site-specific performance art as extreme, nihilistic political-religious statement on urban renewal.
i keep being reminded of th movie ’seven’. see it if you haven’t. then we’ll talk.
basic rule from sun-tzu’s art of war: never, ever back an enemy into a corner, always leave an escape route.
an enemy facing certain death, like a wild beast, has nothing to lose.
karma is a bitch, too. scares me constipated. amStrand:blitzkrieg+guerrilla=jihad?
was th title for th posting i started nearly a month ago, equinox approaching…what th- ! here it is:

‘…we both know that th problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world…’
it’s ‘casablanca’ time again, folks- drawing a line in th sand, taking sides, fighting for what’s right-
except every side will be self-righteously turning up evidence that god is securely, reassuringly huddled
in their corner…’infinite justice’ indeed!
i wonder if th most accurate translation of ‘jihad’ might actually be ‘crusade’ -& vice versa, of course?

‘vengeance is mine, saith th lord’…wd nietzche be surprised, tickled pink, proud of, or merely confused by th angry christian retaliation rhetoric? he has zarathustra make some fairly contemptuous- & only coincidentally, misogynous-remarks about christianity as a woman’s religion, glorying in victimisation…turning th other cheek & all that…

some days better, some days worse- another court appearance before th original judge & th property wall is finally being rebuilt! i’m afraid it might be a ‘chapuseria’- a slapdash rush job to avoid being cited for contempt of court & having their whole operation & projects shutdown…we will see…

to quote thomas dolby:
end of a summer/yr body wakens/in condensation/my heart learned to swim
then that feeling/was gone again…(‘weightless’)

i still am trying to get over th fact that after weeks of dragging myself out of bed no earlier than ten-thirty, on tuesday
th eleventh of september i woke up at 8:45 sharp…(a suivre…)

(Sites such as BreakTheChain, HoaxBusters, and HoaxInfo.com routinely list the latest e-mail hoaxes and debunk them. And About.com now has a whole new section dedicated to e-mail hoaxes relating to the terrorist attacks.)

EXTRA CREDIT
=====================

Moms have Mother’s Day, Fathers have
Father’s Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday

What has a whole bunch of little balls
and screws old ladies?
Bingo

What’s the difference between a
porcupine and a BMW?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

(weird problems inserting adresses…)
…well, ten days ago yesterday i bought a cute, ultralite sony vaio
laptop.
if i had brought it in to j&r; before those ten days were up, i cd have had
an
exchange, no questions asked. but that one day of procrastination- added to
a
week of ’sure, i can troubleshoot this mofo myself’ -means i have to go
uptown to some sony store for them to diagnose & repair whatever may be
wrong
w/ it. symptoms: clipping beats when playing audio cd’s, one issue. issue
#2
is a sticky mouse click, that will sometimes drag & open files when i’m
merely moving th cursor…
where did i earn this foquin bad karma in dealing w/ technology???
i half-wish i’d just gone off to spain & continued to do my writing in
cafes
until i came back in november, then shopped around @ continued leisure…
what’s going on otherwise? my life feels like it’s ground to a halt after
all
these years of ’surrendering my will’ & still clutching @ broken shards of
control. it’s a little scary, but i’m starting to get used to th idea that
i
really have no idea what i’m doing in this world, how to organise my
priorities, whether i should be travelling, where i’m going in physical or
geographical or existential terms…but i’m also coming to th place where i
know pushing myself to stay in motion in order to sustain some illusion of
direction & purpose is just exhausting & not getting any results. in th
last
few days, in th midst of feelings of melancholy futility & aimlessness a
sense of acceptance has been dawning…i can give myself permission to
hesitate, to examine, to doubt & to trust & act only when i feel
comfortable
w/ th level of risk involved. i have all th time in th world to learn to
own
my life, to learn that it is indeed my life even if everything that happens
as part of it is not either my self- constructed purpose or an obstacle to
it! -i do know however, that i don’t want to go back to puerto rico until i
have some clear indication that i can start unpacking th boxes that have
been
sitting in caparra for th last seven years, gutting th storefront in vega
baja myself if i have to & getting it ready to hang my growing photography
collection. just call me charles foster kane-
‘rosebud…!’
-except i may be staying in this hotel room idefinitely, or finally flying
to
amsterdam & staying in europe indefinitely…i’m turning it over…
abrazos, davidj=(8{>

(weird problems inserting adresses…)
…well, ten days ago yesterday i bought a cute, ultralite sony vaio
laptop.
if i had brought it in to j&r before those ten days were up, i cd have had
an
exchange, no questions asked. but that one day of procrastination- added to
a
week of ’sure, i can troubleshoot this mofo myself’ -means i have to go
uptown to some sony store for them to diagnose & repair whatever may be
wrong
w/ it. symptoms: clipping beats when playing audio cd’s, one issue. issue
#2
is a sticky mouse click, that will sometimes drag & open files when i’m
merely moving th cursor…
where did i earn this foquin bad karma in dealing w/ technology???
i half-wish i’d just gone off to spain & continued to do my writing in
cafes
until i came back in november, then shopped around @ continued leisure…
what’s going on otherwise? my life feels like it’s ground to a halt after
all
these years of ’surrendering my will’ & still clutching @ broken shards of
control. it’s a little scary, but i’m starting to get used to th idea that
i
really have no idea what i’m doing in this world, how to organise my
priorities, whether i should be travelling, where i’m going in physical or
geographical or existential terms…but i’m also coming to th place where i
know pushing myself to stay in motion in order to sustain some illusion of
direction & purpose is just exhausting & not getting any results. in th
last
few days, in th midst of feelings of melancholy futility & aimlessness a
sense of acceptance has been dawning…i can give myself permission to
hesitate, to examine, to doubt & to trust & act only when i feel
comfortable
w/ th level of risk involved. i have all th time in th world to learn to
own
my life, to learn that it is indeed my life even if everything that happens
as part of it is not either my self- constructed purpose or an obstacle to
it! -i do know however, that i don’t want to go back to puerto rico until i
have some clear indication that i can start unpacking th boxes that have
been
sitting in caparra for th last seven years, gutting th storefront in vega
baja myself if i have to & getting it ready to hang my growing photography
collection. just call me charles foster kane-
‘rosebud…!’
-except i may be staying in this hotel room idefinitely, or finally flying
to
amsterdam & staying in europe indefinitely…i’m turning it over…
abrazos, davidj=(8{>

Subject: amStrand:flight of ideas

every day every night i run darker later blinder
pull my glasses off give up faith in deficient sight
take a chance on th rest of my wounded senses
fearful shadows my ally gently testing my strength
granting reassurance & value to meager powers

(a ghostly dog pants at my heels
my pace my track draw him on
underlining th night road leading me home)
‘my life has fallen to th sere, th yellow leaf…’

in this full-wallow season all i remember of love & friendship
is loss manipulation & betrayal. all i feel & find
in desire is fruitless outcome unfulfilled exasperation
all th women i lost my heart to sleep in compromised comfort
sheltered by my enemy or my stranger friend’s arms

june-july2001

Subject: THE N- INCIDENT: further backround

i’ve known n- since summer of ‘96. th first time she came into reception at th carlton arms hotel,

th resident poet’s jaw & mine hit th floor in unison. she was dressed in a supergirl miniskirt,

but for th life of me i can’t remember where th ‘S’ logo was actually placed.

that november, after returning from an ill-fated trip to spain, i invited her & a girlfriend to join me

for a special dinner pairing game dishes w/ th rhone varietals from a boutique california winery.

she proved to be a bit of a drunken boor, but i chalked it up to youth & country girl attitudinizing.

she seemed to be a hard worker- a budding photographer w/ a precocious repertoire of technical fireworks, documenting th art in each of th rooms for her graduation portfolio…we agreed on making

th dinner price a deposit towards th purchase of a print at some unspecified later date.

last year she was dividing time between home in canada & nyc photo gigs after a two-year world-spanning jaunt…

hello david,,

anytime your ready i can go and do the work,, i even think that we have a

week off in march, and that would be perfect.

for fees,, you know that i would not charge you any extra fees,, but the

basic would be good so i dont kned to pocket out my own money,, and g-

assisting would be perfect. 9 to the 18 of march

got to run

n-xxxx