zensolo’s e-mailed chronicles posted by morituri.

hebdo.amStrand/daily accretion

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Wednesday th 05, 05.1999 (21h44) maybe this is a crucial, integral, essential part of th process, a good sign

of being on th right path, a positive first or second or third step along th way, but it certainly is

bewildering, confusing & oftentimes frustrating…is it something new? maybe it’s merely a personality quirk,

one particular level of conditioning & illusory rationalisation…there doesn’t seem to be one focus, one

significant object that draws th attention of my desire- seeming to promise fulfillment where others may

not…it’s as if I’ve lost th faculty of discrimination- all objects that excite my desire promise partial

satisfactions, perishable… possibilities multiply into meaningless infinity…
Thursday th 06, 05.1999 (11h54) as 1983 became th dire year 1984 & my thirtieth birthday approached, th

landscape & weather of my heart took form around me on old silver beach in cape cod…it was colder than usual

that winter, from what everybody said-ponds & cranberry bogs froze because of subzero temperatures for days on

end…but then there was a dramatic, prolonged midwinter thaw, fog showing in thick cones of light from th

old-fashioned road lamps & condensing to drip from th wires looping loosely down between posts…
Sunday th 09, 05.1999 (20h03) what a pain in th ass…restore & reinstall & clean install for mother’s day

&&&fquin keyboard…later… (23h20) doglynx…catwolf or

wolfcat…felupus…wolfeline…felis-canis-lupus…cat-wolfdog…coyote/coyotrick…gatepack… bat swooping

down @ me on th run to cibuco tonight…testing & leading me…th converse to gerard manley hopkins’ ‘morning’s

minion’, th ‘windhover’…dogs along th darkening twilit road…green fireflies back out in force on my

return…I’m daring mself to go just a little further in th dark along th driftwood & seaweed strewn shore

towards th cibuco rivermouth every other run or so…
(wed.th 12th- having a hard time finding time, making time again…making
appointments, meetings, dance & yoga
& ch’i k’ung/qi gong classes…too much in th world & not of it?)

Written by morituri

May 12th, 1999 at 8:13 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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