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Friday th 14, 05.1999 (19h29)
too early in th year, th weather has turned sultry.
hot air blows out of th south in desultory gusts. rafa valle’s horses are whinnying (neighing?) in th gloaming

& th oily full tide slaps against th seawall… th latest-last straw just added to my tinderbox of frustration

& sweltering anger: compuserve ‘unexpectedly quit due to a type 2 error’- precisely when I clickd to save my

earlier writing draft…
it’s been a week. mother’s day I spent on th phone to apple, in not-too-fruitful troubleshooting. my cute

little rented imac started crashing on startup a week ago yesterday, if memory(!) serves me right- would not

budge beyond th smiling mac, would not so much as begin to breathe a glance @ th ol’ system.
tony’s mac, th reseller I rented this priceless jewel from, neglected to include th system software cd’s in th

package, so I had to borrow my friend maria’s disks-she owns this baby’s exact lime-colored twin…
so after all th disk first aid repair, update drivers blah blah bullshit in dialogue w/ yr hardworking apple

tech drones, we get to restoring system software… and then again, later in th day, after some lunch @ uncle

oscar & marian’s, reinstalling a second time- a full clean install this time, after trouble continued… &

trouble, indeed, continues: th rest of th week has been a mess of continual desktop rebuilding after endless

compuserve & netscape crashes, broken connections & interrupted downloads…
I rented this machine to take a break from my troubled powerbk 5300, still running system 7.6, hoping to catch

up on some work while checking th new improved mac os 8.51 out… as alanis sings, ‘isn’t it ironic?’ this is

th new apple, th new mac?
* so I continue to take deep breaths & consider taking a chance on learning to deal w/ th alternate quirks &

troubles of th wintel world…

meanwhile, th plans & projects I call my life are up in th air & on hold… I’m exhausted, all my wishing will

not make any one dream real & th marketing savvy & negotiating hooks necessary to enlist th moneymen’s energies

& allegiance seem to elude me… will I make it to europe this year? will I visit w/ my brother peter in

weimar & enjoy any of its offerings as european cultural capital @ millenium’s end? will I walk th pilgrimage

route to santiago de compostela? will I decide I’m ready & can afford th ny film academy’s six-week intensive

film production workshop in paris?
to quote th anna karina character in goddard’s ‘pierrot le fou’,
‘qu’est-ce que je vais faire?…je ne sais pas quoi faire…! qu’est-ce que
je vais faire?…je ne
sais pas quoi faire…! qu’est ce je vais faire?…’
(a suivre…)
l’amour, toujours- d=(8{>

Written by morituri

May 15th, 1999 at 9:45 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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