hebdo.amStrand/th beat goes on&on&on
Tuesday th 04, 05.1999 (20h44) nuts. love is gone, love is over & done with: nothing in this world for me but
endlessly replaying loss, over & over & over again… for th last three days, compuserve mail software has
kept me from posting this poem originally addressd to christalía back in ‘84…let´s see if copying it here &
back finally sends it out…
(gender line, period. -nyc, 1984)
imagine a seal on yr tissues: every harm in having yr fill
stagnates in a red tide that sloshes th heart about its cage.
imagine th body an indistinct womb, toenail to thyroid to chin-
a disarticulating cradle glued thick w/ anxiety.
imagine no release when inspiration has not taken flesh, no mourning fits prepared by measured bleeding-no
issue, no avenue but thought, no exit or shelter but empty sky:
th only route out of th gut that sloughs its burdens
to mark its weight is th awkward pleasure
of our daily crap, trembling down th gut to keep from tearing th skin (th sight of a man’s blood is a different
form of assurance)
imagine th sameness of days without return as tears well up
only to lose their way, falling back down th throat-
dark drops lost in darkness again while th calendar trumpets
a new day, a new month, a different year…
imagine I grew up away from life-
arc of my father’s cock in th wind outside th seasons-
th spark of womb in th cell denied its code.
imagine I live like this- losing offspring every day
I drink, eat & sleep my heartburn into ashes
learning to nurse another ghost & vomit blood for evidence.
(love always to c.o.v…d=(8{>)
my nightmares become real: for my last performance(art)piece back in ‘92, I
casually & succintly predicted ‘pistol pete navaja’ rosselló wd not only be
elected governor later that year, but still be in power in ‘98…I saw a
couple of young fed-nerd types taking seawater samples up by th public
beach, puerto nuevo, as I returnd from my run- this was an image I had for
that same piece, but I cdn’t stage it- my idea was actually that regular
summer-vacationing vegabajeños wd have their own kits issued out to them to
regularly check contaminant levels in critically polluted waters…we may
not be too far off…I’ve just started getting stuff from surfrider
foundation’s representative in p.r., ricky de soto- glad to be on their
list & become more active & pro-active on environment- & especially water
quality & conservation issues…
pa’lante! d=(8{>