amStrand:enlightenment nuts&bolts
(back around mid-july…)
my medication is my addiction
my addiction is my medicine:
fifty-two minute run!
let’s see what recovery is like & how i feel tomorrow-
…y el detalle de ‘la caridad’ i’ve done a couple of times before- moving a dead- sacrificed?-
animal off th road: first that kittycat, at night, still warm, by th municipal services area
in th old tortuguero army base- then that flattened- hedgehog? near pfarrkirchen in niederbayern- & now a
little mongoose cub near los tubos beach…
overtraining? my resting pulse doesn’t seem to say so- 48 bpm, +or- , this morn- but i was sleeplessly tired
until daybreak…coffee plus gotukola plus adrenalin plus green tea in my postrun ‘ultimate’ shake…? walk-
weights- crosstrain- swim-rest??
…at th wrong time, th moment my head hits th pillow I AM AWAKE
only to drag my self up to my feet to sleepwalk, again & yet again
one night or one year: absence is void of duration
fully in th moment i laugh nervously at pushing th padlocked gate
shoulder au bout de petit matin first time after th engine’s collapse?
bastille: at tonight’s banquet i was nourished by th sacrifice of many grapes, some fish
two snails & even a taste of my friend’s cow loin…
countless wheat berries, seeds, grain, kernels ground down
germ set aside or ignored as innapropiate dark clue to continuity of life…