zensolo’s e-mailed chronicles posted by morituri.


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as my mood cycle reaches bottom i begin to remember my dreams-
a recent one may give an idea of my overwhelming, inescapable sense of futility:
i may be on th street, among strangers- i’m asking people for help-
i may have had a stroke, because i can’t form words very well-
i’m trying as hard as i can to make myself understood & to convey my sense of urgency, but
everyone turns away in bafflement, suspicion or outright disgust.
if my life is truly at stake here, i need to just make my peace & accept my fate.
there certainly seems to be no point to any of my efforts. i give up, i surrender.

in practical terms: i expect to finally close my account w/ centennial de puerto rico, handing in my celphone,

losing my internet service provider & desktop-home email capability until…i find a new ISP, maybe in spain…
my yahoo emailbox again becomes my electronic ‘poste restante’- general delivery- window as i gear up for

yet again-
tentatively flying into amsterdam january 20th. meanwhile, i have to take this machine in for a look at th sony

battery’s dead & v.90, 56k modem can’t seem to connect faster than 28.8kbps…more like 19.2…
oh, i backed up into a crumbling fire hydrant & busted th loading backdoor on my toyota rav4.
my fallen angel mechanic friend, radames, is combing junkers for a scavenged replacement & it looks bad.
how much will a new door from toyota be? something over 900bucks…plus installation labor…
sue th town of vega baja for damages? if i hadn’t paid up th remaining ten months on my loan, insurance might

have covered some of th costs.
on top of everything else, putxo my half-grown tomcat’s gone missing for two weeks as of next tuesday. i just

hope he’s alive & okay, but i miss him terribly. best company i’ve had in th last year- even if th evidence

points to him as cause for last summer’s illness. guess his purpose in my life was to keep me in puerto rico

through 2001.
happy new year, y’all. d=(8{>

Written by morituri

December 29th, 2001 at 1:28 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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