hebdo.wanderlust-limbo
hello, one & all…apologies for th deafening silence these last…umm-three weeks already! – but reentry to
bittersweet paradise home & family is always difficult- feels like i’ve run some kind of high-adrenalin
‘mission impossible’ everyone disavows when i sit down to debrief.
then again, in th words of richard hugo,
‘this is th bad time, christmas
& th myths are honed fine’
…it’s become a recurrent season for mourning for me particularly since it wd’ve been th first wk of january
that i wd’ve become a father fifteen years ago, 1985…but for th simple but overwhelming fact that i was not
th love in th love of my life’s life… i just did my cold-turkey caffeine quit for two days when i felt a
cold coming on last friday- so i spent saturday & sunday- ‘las octavitas’, post-three kings day weekend tail to
traditional boricua christmas holiday partying- nodding out to th tune of fourteen- sixteen hours a day as i
pushd myself to slog thru a freudian psychoanalysts’ take on joyce’s ulysses- ‘th cast of characters’… i had
a great talk about possiblities related to some of my ideas last night after my first espresso in three days
around noon, no workout in four days either, so of course i couldn’t fall asleep until nearly six in th
morning… i’ve been rereading william gibson’s ‘count zero’ today & i’m just a little frightened @ how life
is imitating art in th development of h internet & th notion of ‘cyberspace’…also funny how it’s dated-
written in ‘86, a lot of th warring multinational conglomerates’ names are japanese… still, i’m in a state
-mood?- particularly susceptible to suspension of disbelief regarding th plausibility of any paranoid scenario
my imagination or any neighboring friend or flake’s can conjure up, especially after aol-time-warner-turner
seems like a done deal…
& on that note, reviewing stick-shift skills for th organic growth of two-way
love traffic ’til next time…d=(8{>